Letting The Air Back In

On the way home from Cape Cod last weekend, we got a flat tire. No biggie, you might think. After all, we bought the Volvo for its high safety ratings. As it turns out the blowout itself was a non-event. I easily slowed and moved to the side of the road. Upon inspection, it was clear the tire was shot. Unfortunately, there was not enough room on the roadside to change to the spare, so I had to drive a couple of miles on the flat tire to an exit where I could safely change the tire.

When I finally got stopped, I got out and the tire was smoking hot with the smell of burning rubber permeating the air. Ever the natural pessimist, the image of the Volvo consumed in flames quickly arose in my mind. Now I was rattled. Changing the tire turned out to be simple enough, but the prospect of hightailing it back to New York City some 200 miles on a skinny left me cold. In my pre-fatherdom years, I would have gone for it, immune to any risks I was taking. But that person was a couple of turns of the road back and I now found myself locking us down for the night in Providence, RI to await the local Volvo dealership opening first thing next morning.

Amazing are the changes that arise when you really have someone that needs you to survive. I’m a father now. Oliver requires what nourishment, guidance, and protection I have to offer (perhaps a frightening thought to those who knew me in my young 20's). At times I’m overcome by what that means, but mostly I revel in it. I wrote a paper in college while studying Heideggar titled "The Ringing of the Ringing in the Worlding World." I concede the title is absurd (though of course that was my intention), but the title attempts to embrace grabbing hold of Life, of Being, and really FEELING IT. I’m definitely feeling It lately, and moments like that flat tire certainly ring the ringing in my worlding world.