The Land of Scatological

I had a (rare) moment of clarity today. I wrote a friend to congratulate him on the successful launch of his new business and found myself relating via Oliver’s many successful (mostly liquid) launches that I’ve been privy to over the last few months. Suddenly, I realized that I was officially a confirmed new parent.

You see, I used to listen to new parents discuss the bowel movements, flatulence, and other mini-disasters of their young children and think to myself that somehow, when my time came, I would different, that I would still be capable of proper behavior and civil conversation.

Turns out I’ve no bragging rights. Speaking from the other side of parentdom, I suddenly can’t imagine anything more interesting than discussing whether we’re in Phlegm Phase II or Phase III Phlegm trials of Oliver’s cold. And it seems terribly important to include all the gory details of what that might entail. The details matter…They do...Really...At least to me.

So, best to steer clear of me in the halls, the elevators, and at the water cooler these days, lest you join those in the know of the slings and arrows of Olie’s outrageous, uncouth misfortunes.

You’ve been warned.

17 pounds @ 12wks!!

'Nuff said.

Confusing Tides

People continue to be impressed with your size. That’s a nice way of saying you continue to be a big, big baby. We don’t have your latest official weight & height, but you’re now wearing 6-9 month old clothes and people are shocked and awed when they find out you're just 11 weeks old. It seems that every 4 weeks you gain 3 months of normal baby growth. We’ll end up sewing all the clothes you’ve already outgrown into colorful quilt patterns to make sure they don’t go to waste.

We made a run to Cape Cod this weekend. Your dad was feeling the squeeze of winter (albeit a mild one) in cramped quarters in New York and he needed badly to flee to wide open spaces. I was having trouble breathing in NYC, so away we went to the Cape. Unfortunately, a restful getaway was not in the cards. We left Thursday night and stayed with grandma birds only to have her oil burner backfire, which brought the local police and fire department to her door at 3am. Having been ordered out of the house, I swept you away into the car to keep you warm while the Wareham firemen and police officers mostly just played with Bella. Men in uniforms appear to love bulldogs and so Bella long ago came to love men in uniforms. She shakes her little fanny and the uniformed men just melt.

From that point on you began fussing abnormally and it soon became clear that you were feeling under the weather. Being on the Cape is usually an antidote to city life, but with you being sick we found ourselves scrambling to find a doctor, to find medicine, to find some means to ease your discomfort (and our own). Generally, you don’t fuss except a little in the evenings, so to have you constantly crying was disturbing. We were on edge, helpless to relieve your obvious unease. It ended up being no winter picnic.

Over the weekend, 7 dolphins beached themselves in Wellfleet. This was the 12th incident of dolphins and/or whales coming ashore on the Cape this winter. They’re saying the dolphins are becoming “confused in the tides.” Becoming confused in the tide, and heading to the beach for consolation is certainly something I can relate to these days.

So how did the weekend without mom go?

You guessed it…it all ended up badly. Justine came home to a house that smelled like beer, riddled with empty containers and dirty laundry everywhere. 3-day old dirty bath water was still sitting in the tub, the trash needed to go out, and both the tv and stereo were blasting at top volume. Worse still, the boy hadn't been bathed in days and had taken on a dejected, sallow look. The scene lived up to Justine's worst fears, so much so that she has declared she won't be leaving junior behind again.

So much for dad being responsible enough to manage on his own. Or was it yet another attempt to set the bar as low as it can go?

With Held Head High

Your neck has gotten so strong in the last week or so that you now hold your head up rather effortlessly. That may not seem like much, but to us it is a big change. Used to be that we had to constantly support your head. Now, you perch yourself up on your elbows and watch the world go by eyes wide open with a smile on your face, offering up a giggle or a guffaw for passersby. The catch is that it is easy to let down our guard and sometimes you suddenly toss your head back rather swiftly. Won't be long before you’re leaping out of our arms to chase after who knows what passing fancy.

On other fronts, your mom went to Jamaica this weekend to shoot a VH1 documentary, her first foray back to the world of work since your arrival last November. It wasn’t easy for her to leave you behind as she’s become quite fond of you over the last few months. On the upside, her going south left us to enjoy our first boys only weekend. Some quality guy time, except that Bella is also here. But since Bella snores like a guy, we’ll count her in. No sports for us just yet, but I did see Goodfellas on the list of cable movie options…

Family Time - Olie Meets Grandma & Grandpa Updyke

From a letter from Grandpa Updyke to Dad:

I had a wonderful visit with you, Justine and Oliver. What a joy to see your family as the vital and vibrant entity it is and should be. Each part meshing and interacting in the sometimes chaotic, but always beautiful interplay that constitutes life. Of all the things in life that I've been rewarded with, seeing you with your wife and brand new son, and the obvious happiness you enjoy, will always be one of my fondest memories.

I hope that our visit didn't wear too hard on you. As I'm well aware, the first part of being new parents is a constant struggle to keep up. I've often wondered where the best trade off between the energy of youth, and the wisdom of age is at an optimum when it comes to raising children. Only having done it one way, I'll never really know, but it does give one pause for thought.

Please tell Justine that we burned the disks for the early photos of you, and they will be winging their way to you via regular mail this weekend. While we were doing the disks, I had the picture of your mom, my mom, and you kneeling at the ocean side cropped and blown up to a 5 x 7, which is now hanging on my wall at work. What a trip down memory lane each day as I walk in and see that picture.

It serves as a great reminder of what a blessed life I've lived. I hope that as you look back on the time you're living now, from the future your headed for, you're as fortunate in your remembrances as I've been.

Love, Dad

Holiday Photos

First walk at Rock Harbor

w/ cousin Felicia

w/ Sheila and Gramps

w/ Lisa and Grampa Hand

4 Generations: Olie, Flea, Great Gram, and Gram Bird

When The Black Birds Fly

Several times over the last month or so as I’ve been walking home through Central Park I’ve witnessed massive flocks of black birds take flight. They appear to move as one, suddenly swarming upwards with a great surge and beating of wings for no discernible reason. A few feet off the ground, the feathered mass then selects a destination and spirals into action without hesitation, as one. How they signal one another, I cannot determine, but clearly there is some manner in which the group need is instantly communicated.

While there are plenty of books and magazines for new parents to read and a great many newborn mysteries to resolve during the first few months, being a new parent shares some commonality with the black birds taking flight. More often than not, I find that I just inherently “know” what a situation requires and move almost mechanically into action to affect the necessary solution. To be sure, there is much that is not obvious, that is learned through word of mouth, doctor’s or mother’s advice, and innumerable other sources. But much of what needs to be done simply comes instinctively. Oliver signals and we respond, providing the remedy. It becomes a kind of dance with the child with a hidden beat pulling us into the places we need to be, just as we need to be there.

Oliphant Update

Oliver had another visit with the pediatrician today and weighed in at 14lbs. 11oz!!!! Truly an Oliphant at just 8 weeks old. He's also 24 inches long. Unfortunately he also had his first round of immunization shots (and consequently his first dose of infant Tylenol). True to Olie form, he was a trooper though. Hollered when the shots went in, but was quickly soothed by Mom.

His new favorite activity is dancing bear (or any stuffed animal). When I make his animals dance and sing next to him, Olie kicks and waves his arms right along. Is his Scorpio creativity already coming out?

More Members of the Village

Developmental Leaps & Bounds

Olie is holding his head high now. He lifts his head to look you straight in the eyes and locks your gaze for a minute or so. But soon he begins to tire. His head starts to weave side to side like a boxer dodging shots to the noggin, while his forehead slowly bobs down until it comes to rest. He usually grunts with frustration a few times before his head softly collides with chest or shoulder.

Oliver is also much more aware of what’s going on around him. He follows objects with his head and his eyes as they move across his field of vision and he shows preference for some objects over others. He smiles often now and he’s constantly moving his arms and legs. (Which is exhausting, by the way. Go ahead and try it. I guarantee it will wear you out.) Despite his strong preference for kinetic energy and Newton's First Law, Olie's motor skills still need work. As he bunches up his little fists and swings his arms in fits and starts, he still seems surprised each time he socks himself in the eye or the kisser. Luckily no black eyes or fat lips yet.

Over the holiday's Oliver met his great-grandparents on his mother's side. Both Dick & Sylvia bubbled over with affection for the new addition to their family (though Bella was not forgotten either).

Happy New Year to All and welcome to Olie's eighth week and second calendar year!