The many sides of Oliver

Olie feeding leaves to Gila

So I forgot to mention in my last post that Oliver has grown an inch since fall and is now 40" tall!

He's turning into such a boy. In AZ he was obsessed with snakes and lizards, insisting that we acquire for him one of each that became known as Gila and Hissy. (These joined Chamel - previously purchased in CA.) AND whenever we take a walk now Oliver comes back with a vast collection of rocks and sticks.

But Olie also has a sensitive side. Lately he becomes very concerned if anything is captured. While recently looking at a book of fantastical beasts, Oliver really liked the Griffin, and was sure that it was absolutely going to let the fish in its talons go. Then the other day he came running into the kitchen, because Kipper, the world's MOST benign English cartoon dog, had captured a butterfly in a jar. Luckily Kipper did let it go (told you he was nice). Similarly ALL Olie's meat eater dinosaurs are "nice" and prefer plants. Oliver also takes it very personally when Bella wont hug him goodbye or once when his shy friend Oonagh wouldn't say "hello."

Similarly Oliver is also exploring taking care of other people. As I make dinner in the evening, Oliver frequently does the same. In his play kitchen, he'll prepare pasta and salad for Dad with lots of salt and pepper "because that's the way Dad likes it." Oliver will also let me know that he'll be sure to take a nap so that I can also get some sleep too. (Solvi Dear is still NOT sleeping thru the night!)



Which is not to say that Oliver isn't tough. While on the playground the other day, Chad and I were discussing the complicated psychology of raising boys. Obviously you want them to be tough but not too. I could see this with the father of a boy Oliver was playing with. That boy whined when Olie put the wrong leaf "flag" on the castle mound they were building. He whined when Olie put a foot print in the side. He whined when Olie accidentally got sand on him. While I noticed how quietly and nicely the boy played and was desperately trying to contain Oliver, the boy's father really just wanted his son to suck it up. So later when Oliver got into a little fight on the playground, Chad related the story to me with a certain gleam in his eye. "You’re proud!" I said. "Yes!" said Chad. "The kid was five and he'd been picking on Oliver, trying to bait him using big words like carnivore (which of course Oliver told him straight out meant meat eater), and then wouldn't share his bacon snack (Bacon snack? Whaaa?), and when Oliver grabbed at the bacon, the kid elbowed him right in the face so Oliver took him down. Let's just say it wasn't Oliver who came up crying!" Men!

Oliver also clearly has a way with words, so much so that he often makes them up. The other day when looking at aforementioned book of beasts, Oliver said of the Ogre. "He's 'Metty.'" "Metty?" I asked. "What does that mean?" Oliver pauses, "I means very fierce."

My Word

Solvi is desperate to communicate. Since my last post she has added so many interactive talents to her repertoire that I just had to update you all.

While in AZ the week after Valentine's Day, all the Updykes enthusiastically chipped in to help Solvi learn to wave and clap. It took about a day. Now she can't get enough of either. She claps whenever she hears music... (That is if she's not using her hands to hold on to something in which case she "dances" or bounces to the music. I must say, she's got rhythm.) ...or whenever she senses that she has done something special, like finishing her food (never a problem for her). Solvi now waves hi and bye to everyone. Oh and her wave is very demur - just the hand, not some big arm flailing thing- as if she's fanning herself on a hot day.



Solvi also quickly adapted her clapping to sign "more" when she eats. And today, she signed “eat” for the first time. Just yesterday, she mastered "How big is Solvi?" "So big!" - she throws her arms in the air. You see how fast this is all coming now?! She's also added nodding her head side to side as well as up and down. We think she just recognizes these as relational gestures, since she doesn't necessarily seem to mean “yes" and "no" when she's doing them. I'm sure it's just a matter of time though.



In addition to gestural and signed communication, Solvi is on the brink of talking. She first added "Hi" to her waves which comes out "Haaaa," and then quickly added "Bye" or "Baaaah." While reading Solvi will repeat the word "duck" or "da". If you ask her to show you the "baby" in a book, she will drum her chubby finger up and down on the right spot, pointing out the "baba." Other words she tries on are "t" words. If you point to your teeth, she'll say, "t-th"; "toes" are "ts". When not saying actual words, Solvi's mouth is often engaged in something akin to a singer's warm up. Strange lip puckers, tongue clicks and clucks, razzes and noises leave us in anticipation of the upcoming concert of words.

On the physical side, thankfully Solvi's dare devil phase was short lived. She can now get down from places almost as well as up, so we no longer have to constantly worry about her careening backwards to the floor. She's also a bit closer to a true crawl, sometimes moving on knees 3 or 4 paces before flopping on tummy.

Lately, Oliver and Solvi have been playing together so nicely. Olie clearly has a lot of affection for his sister, bringing her toys and putting pillows behind her in case she falls. Olie often copies Solvi bouncing, rolling and crawling around with her. They love to dance and play instruments together as well as games of peek-a-boo. Oh yeh, Solvi plays peek-a-boo with the curtain in the front hall too.




Oliver is so eloquent now that it's hard to remember you're talking to a 3 year old. But the themes and emotions are definitely 3-year-old boy. Some real gems that have come out of him lately include:

When overhearing me tell a friend on the phone that I was tired, Olie said, "Mom, you're tired." He hands me his stuffed penguin. "Here's a penguin you can snuggle with." Another morning when Oliver was having a hard time waking up I said, "Oliver there are a lot of 'no's coming from you this morning." Later when he felt better he stated, "Mom, can you hear all the 'yes's coming from my body?" And my favorite of late takes a little explanation. Olie and I have been participating in an NYU study about parenting active toddlers. One of the strategies they suggested was to put up the house rules where the toddler can see them. I made rule lists with pictograms (clip art) so Olie could recognize them. Turns out he loves these, I think because he feels like he's reading. He proudly reviews the rules when friends come over. Of course they talk about rules at school a lot too, so it's really in his vernacular. So, while in AZ, Chad and Cody were teasing each other. Olie overheard Cody tell Chad that he was mean. Upset, Olie rose to his Dad's defense. "My Dad is NOT mean." Cody said, "he's teasing me." To which Oliver replied. "He's NOT mean, he just forgot the rules!"